Lola died on August 4th, 2014 at 5:15 pm at age 8-1/2. Seven months after she was diagnosed with cancer. Six months after her leg was amputated in the hopes of stemming the cancer. And only two weeks after x-rays showed the cancer had returned. I wrote her inspiring story shortly after her leg was amputated, How Lola lost her leg and embraced life. Our sweet Lola indeed embraced life until the very end, until she was too tired and sick to make the effort any more.
The last day
After Lola’s surgery in February of 2015, my aunt told me, “We make a contract with our pets that we will safely and kindly see them through life and then to death. It’s the cycle of life.” Wise and comforting words I think.
We took Lola to a park on her last day, trying to bring some joy to her in her last hours. As much as I tried to savor every last moment with her, I did find myself thinking, “two hours from now, she will be gone; one hour…only 30 minutes left.” Sitting with her in the doctor’s office, there was a part of me wanting it to just be over and another part screaming, “No, she can’t leave us yet. This is a mistake.”
We wrapped our girl in a pink blanket which had the word ‘love’ written all over it, a gift to her after her surgery – and sent her on her way with a packet of her favorite treats and peanut butter, photos of us and all our love.
She left this world with the same grace and dignity she showed all her life.
The ebb and flow of grieving
Shortly after Lola’s death, my young neighbors brought their little dog Cleo for a visit to cheer me up and ernestly told me they went to a shelter to find us a new dog to help us not miss Lola so much. Another neighbor brought Zoe, Lola’s best doggie friend, over. She was jauntily sporting a witch’s hat complete with vivid pink hair. The next day she was wearing a black spider on her head and the next day she was a devil with red horns. A bit of laughter through the all the tears and wonderful friends and neighbors helping us through.
As I wept for Lola, I embraced the idea of the Rainbow Bridge because it soothed me. I pictured our kitties Sherlock, Watson and Molly all waiting for Lola to welcome her there and to ease her passing. Then later I pictured her with her tilted head, ears fully upright and forward, a smile on her face looking directly at us as if to say, “Have you seen this place? It’s so cool!” It helped me to keep those images in my head.
My grief ebbs and flows, even now nine months later. I can feel her presence in so many places. It sometimes takes my breath away, how much I miss her, how much I long to have her back.
To adopt again or not, that is the question
I didn’t want another dog after Lola died. My husband Bill was ready almost immediately, but I was adamantly opposed. Until one day I wasn’t.
I didn’t tell Bill that because I had a nugget of an idea forming. I wanted to give him a shelter dog for his February birthday.
My internal dialogue was argumentative. “Here are all the good reasons to save another shelter dog…” “You’re crazy to want another dog. Look what you just went through.”
If you’ve ever adopted a dog or cat or wanted to, you KNOW those arguments. You’ve had those arguments. Until you make your decision. I made mine. Saving a dog far outweighed the negative arguments I was having with myself.
I searched the local shelters and started following one particular shelter on their Facebook page. I was looking for an older dog that was considered at-risk and hard to adopt. I kept coming back to a dog named Sasha that had been in a shelter for about eight months, adopted twice and returned. She is about three years-old and is an Australian cattle dog Lab mix. She has the most beautiful freckles and the goofiest ears and the sweetest temperament. I just KNEW she was going to be perfect for us.
Happy birthday!
And so on February 20th I blindfolded my husband and put him in the car with the words, “trust me.” When we arrived at the shelter and took his blindfold off, he was completely disoriented as he noticed we were in what looked like a construction yard.
I gleefully told him, “You’re getting a puppy for your birthday!” I smiled expectantly.
“What??” he asked, confused.
I explained further, “This is Petaluma Animal Services and we’re going to see a dog named Sasha. If she’s a good match, she’ll be your birthday present!”
The smile that broke out on his face told me that this birthday present was going to be hard to beat next year.
We walked in the door and met the newest member of our family. My instinct was right. She was and is perfect for us.
She is a 60-pound lap dog who loves nothing more than to snuggle with you or put her head in your lap. She brings us her toys, not to play with but as presents. She snores when she sleeps. She gets the ‘zoomies’ and races about the house, spinning in circles until she just stops and takes a nap. She does what we call a ‘wiggle woggle’ dance. If you can imagine a dog doing “The Twist” then you get the gist of what I mean. Her whole body wiggles with happiness, so much so her tail hits her in the face – repeatedly. It makes us laugh out loud every time she does it, which is quite frequently. She brings a vibrant energy to our home. We are so totally and completely in love with her. Even our cats tolerate her and she them.
Lola’s spirit lives on just as our other beloved shelter animals that passed before her do. It still takes my breath away, missing Lola, but we saved another shelter dog and that’s always a good thing.
I recently adopted Fritz a Schnauzer from the PASF after the passing of my three rescue cats that were 20 years old. In all of my adult life I had never owned a dog, but my house felt empty. I found out Fritz came from the Berkeley Animal Shelter and had been returned to shelters twice (their loss). From the moment I laid eyes on him I knew that we needed each other. Fritz also does the zoomies and wiggles and talks, a lot. He comes to work with me every day and is the star at the office. Much more work that a cat, but so worth it. I originally saw Sasha online and think that it is great that she got her forever home with you two.
I’m thrilled you read my article after seeing it on the Petaluma Animal Services Facebook page. That shelter is AMAZING! I’m so happy you saved Fritz and that he brings you (and those he meets) such joy. That’s what it’s all about. Thank you for taking the time to comment on my story.
Susan, such a loving story. My son Andrew and wife Diane, rescue shelter dogs and after the death of Sparky, their beloved shepard, Andrew rescued Ringo. Ringo is a “small horse” that it takes two adults to walk him. He gets so excited when someone comes near that his tail twitches as though he is doing the rumba. He is old and we will one day face another sad day with Ringo. Until then, thank God for dogs, man and woman’s best friends. We are camping friends of your mom and dad’s.
Thank God for Dogs – that should be a bumper sticker don’t you think? I totally agree. Live long Ringo! And thank you for taking the time to comment Peggy.
Susan, you can’t imagine the tears that are flowing after reading how positively you have impacted so many two and four legged lives. Applying yourself to helping others; we could not be more pleased with the work you are doing bringing attention to these causes. May many more lives be impacted by your beautifully written account of Lola and Sasha. I certainly plan to forward the links to everyone. Love oiddaDD
Thank you Mom and Dad, You did a fine job with me 🙂
Semper fi Dad.
Susan, sounds like a story that I could have written myself. We’ve had three dogs since Cindy and I have been married, The first was Sparky, a wirehaired Chihuahua, who belonged to our next door neighbor. Sparky was let out each day as the neighbors went to work and he’d usually wander over to our yard. One Summer day, it began to rain heavily and he was outside running around his house trying to find cover. The rain was bouncing off the street, as it was coming down so hard. Cindy suggested that I go and get him and bring him in the house. I said NO, as although I had dogs all my life and they weren’t small dogs, but German Shepard’s. I didn’t want a dog at this time. Needless to say we brought him in and dried him off. After that each day, he would come down the neighbors driveway and up ours to be around us. I eventually put a box on our porch with an old t-shirt inside to provide him a place for comfort. I taught him many tricks. So many, that our neighbor asked if we would like to have him as our own. Sparky became ours and brought us great joy. He was more mine than Cindy’s as he used to ride in the car either inside my coat (Winter) or on my shoulder at other times. At night he would sit on a pillow on my lap as we watched TV and when we went to bed, he’d follow us up to our room. I put some boxes at the foot of the bed to act as stairs for him to join us. He would come up between us and get under the covers and sleep there in the crook of our legs until the newspaper delivery person would come by at 4:30 each morning. Upon hearing him, Sparky would scramble out from beneath the covers and start barking as he ran down the stairs. I’d say no barking and then he’d just growl grr, grr grr. We got him when he was three years old and had him until he passed at 14. The night that he died, as I walked upstairs, he just looked at me. I said come on and he reluctantly came upstairs. He slept on top od the covers and that was where we found him in the morning. I wrapped him in the bedspread and buried him in the back yard. We were both devastated as we had lost a family member. My sister Judy who operates a dog business (Pet Companions, Inc.), said we should get another dog soon and offered to assist us in this endeavor. One of her clients had a Lakeland Terrier who could no longer take care of. Teddy was a special dog, as my sister had to keep him away from the other dogs, as Teddy was a terror and kept him in her office. We visited her business and liked Teddy, so we eventually adopted him. On his first day in our house, he took a dump on the living room rug, just to let us know, it was now “his” place. Like Lola, Teddy developed cancer and had to be put down at the age of 12. I held his
head in my hands as the Vet injected him. Again we were devastated. That was it for me with dogs, or so I thought it was. Again my sister Judy helped Cindy to find the “right” dog. We adopted Buddy ( a rescue dog) from Kentucky who only knew the inside of a cage. He is a miniature Alaskan Eskimo. Cindy thought he was a Pomeranian. He’s beautiful, mostly white, with some brown shading here and there. He was used as a stud when he wasn’t in the cage. Buddy is unlike any other dog I’ve ever had. He had to be taught to go up and down stairs. He acts more like a cat, as he is usually behind a chair. He was four when we got him and is now 8. He is Cindy’s dog as she takes him out each morning and then gives him his breakfast after playing hide and seek. She hides and then he find her. It’s a game that they enjoy playing, as after he finds her and she says “YOU FOUND ME”, he goes running back to his feeding spot.
Such great and vivid stories Larry. I remember the dog you had that would fall sound asleep when you held him in your arms and rubbed his belly. Bam! Sound asleep. It was adorable. Thank you for taking the time to share your memories of your beloved dogs past – and present.
Susan, sounds like a story that I could have written myself. We’ve had three dogs since Cindy and I have been married, The first was Sparky, a wirehaired Chihuahua, who belonged to our next door neighbor. Sparky was let out each day as the neighbors went to work and he’d usually wander over to our yard. One Summer day, it began to rain heavily and he was outside running around his house trying to find cover. The rain was bouncing off the street, as it was coming down so hard. Cindy suggested that I go and get him and bring him in the house. I said NO, as although I had dogs all my life and they weren’t small dogs, but German Shepard’s. I didn’t want a dog at this time. Needless to say we brought him in and dried him off. After that each day, he would come down the neighbors driveway and up ours to be around us. I eventually put a box on our porch with an old t-shirt inside to provide him a place for comfort. I taught him many tricks. So many, that our neighbor asked if we would like to have him as our own. Sparky became ours and brought us great joy. He was more mine than Cindy’s as he used to ride in the car either inside my coat (Winter) or on my shoulder at other times. At night he would sit on a pillow on my lap as we watched TV and when we went to bed, he’d follow us up to our room. I put some boxes at the foot of the bed to act as stairs for him to join us. He would come up between us and get under the covers and sleep there in the crook of our legs until the newspaper delivery person would come by at 4:30 each morning. Upon hearing him, Sparky would scramble out from beneath the covers and start barking as he ran down the stairs. I’d say no barking and then he’d just growl grr, grr grr. We got him when he was three years old and had him until he passed at 14. The night that he died, as I walked upstairs, he just looked at me. I said come on and he reluctantly came upstairs. He slept on top od the covers and that was where we found him in the morning. I wrapped him in the bedspread and buried him in the back yard. We were both devastated as we had lost a family member. My sister Judy who operates a dog business (Pet Companions, Inc.), said we should get another dog soon and offered to assist us in this endeavor. One of her clients had a Lakeland Terrier who could no longer take care of. Teddy was a special dog, as my sister had to keep him away from the other dogs, as Teddy was a terror and kept him in her office. We visited her business and liked Teddy, so we eventually adopted him. On his first day in our house, he took a dump on the living room rug, just to let us know, it was now “his” place. Like Lola, Teddy developed cancer and had to be put down at the age of 12. I held his ead in my han
Thank you for the beautiful story. Heartbreaking and brought back memories of my prior dog. I lost him to cancer at the age of 12- we had a great life together.. I wasn’t going to get another dog as I had other aspirations for my life and the work involved with a dog wouldn’t fit. Thankfully, my wife and a friend insisted I adopt or at least seriously consider. Only 3 weeks later, I found myself considering a dog I read about online and the next week, he was home with us. Noah is a very important part of our lives and I have never wanted to go back to those aspirations- at least not without him around..
That is an AWESOME story Allen. (We had a dog named Noah too!) Thank you for taking the time to comment.
This story is such a sad but wonderful peek into the hearts of folks like me who will always cherish the sweet memories of best friends. I still remember the names of all of my fur babies, even those when I was just a child in first grade. Nothing can ever take their hearts from us. Losing my beloved Golden Retriever 03/2014 killed a part of me for he was my caregiver, (not being a service animal) but because he had been with me through my darkest health days, coming to my bedside when I could not get up. Through the pain still lives with me, I can still manage a smile or two when I think of how stubborn he could be when he wanted things done “his” way. Silly boy. I hope that you recover that piece of you that is missing but it is hard to do. Your Lola was a beautiful lady. Just know that she is fine and will see you again. Sasha, behave yourself :-)!!
Hi Dee, Thank you so much for taking the time to comment on my story. I’m so sorry for YOUR loss as well, especially of your very special Golden Retriever who saw you through your darkest days. He must have brought such comfort to you even through your obvious pain. Maybe he was even able to help you forget your pain if only for a short time. We are so fortunate to know the love of a pet. Please take care.
It’s amazing the little things that jump out at you and show you just how much they were entwined in our lives. Sadly, I have lost many adopted cats, dogs, and parrots over the years, and every single one of them take a chunk of your heart when they leave. We can only trust in the love we give them being enough to outshine their darkest moments as much as they brighten ours. They truly are family members, not pets to me. That bond and love can never be replaced or darkened. Every adopted, rescued, and stray can only wish for a loving life, a warm bed, and a family that they are part of. Every one of them deserves to find that special person, just as much as we deserve unconditional love from a heart that beats in time with our own. *hugs* and warmest thoughts for a long and happy life with your new love.
Beautifully said! Thank you for taking the time to comment Namorah.
Oh Lois, I can’t tell you what your email means to me. Yes! Go adopt Wrigley. Save a life. You will feel all the better for it despite your awful loss. You will never forget Ms. Suzie – Lola’s older sister 🙂 – but Wrigley will bring more love into your house and heart – and a whole different type of energy. It will be so wonderful. Ms. Suzie is running with Lola in a field of daisies near the Rainbow Bridge. She’s happy and she knows she can never be replaced. Ever. Thank you for taking the time to comment. Please post again when Wrigley is “home”.
Oh my goodness, this story sounds just like me. My dear dear Ms. suzie left us the day after thanksgiving, just shy of 17. She could have been your Lola’s older sister. I swore I would never go thru that again but just last night I found a little dog on a rescue website and have been telling myself over and over not to do it. After reading your story I am going to bite the bullet and fill out an application tomorrow. Thank you for your beautiful story. Your words will most likely save a poor little dog named Wrigley. I will go to bed tonight with a picture of your Lola and my Suzie running thru a field of daisies. I wish you and Sasha and your husband many years of zoomies and wiggle waggles!
This brought back the day I had to say ‘later’ to my beloved Samoyed, Bear. A tumor had infiltrated her bladder, and she was very uncomfortable. So, our vet, Dr. Brenda (of the Dr. Pol show) came out on a lovely Sunday afternoon, and sat with us under a pin cherry tree and administered the drugs that released her to the Rainbow Bridge. To this day, nearly four years later I weep. I know she’s with our pets that are waiting for us, but I miss her so. Less than three months later, we drove from Michigan to Florida and brought back our daughters Pomeranian. Rosie hasn’t taken Bears spot, but enlarged my heart a little bit, and there’s always room here ‘for one more’…
“Rosie hasn’t taken Bears spot, but enlarged my heart a little bit, and there’s always room here ‘for one more’…” Yes!!! That’s truly what I learned when we adopted Sasha. I’m so glad we made room ‘for one more’. Thank you for taking the time to comment Cheryl.
“Rosie hasn’t taken Bears spot, but enlarged my heart a little bit, and there’s always room here ‘for one more’…” Yes!!! That’s truly what I learned when we adopted Sasha. I’m so glad we made room ‘for one more’. Thank you for taking the time to comment Cheryl.
Thank you, Susan. Your story is such a wonderful example of the lifelong benefits we share with our animal family members. Mutual care and affection within any relationship can brings love.
Thank you for sharing.
Joe.
“Mutual care and affection can bring love” – I love that. My heart truly opened to love when I adopted my first rescue. Thank you for commenting Joe.
This brings back my loss when my service Schnauzer, Otto, departed. The loss was very deep because of or close bond and his dedication to keeping an eye, nose, and ear on me and my health.
I spent time in a funk and than started looking for a new service dog. It took almost two months but I finally rescued a Schnauzer named Gustaff. A true diamond in the rough and very pathetic. He is now magnificent in doing both his duties keeping me healthy but also a very handsome Schnauzer.
He is always with me. I get about a 2 minute break if I go into the other room before he shows up.
PforP is a great organization and helps both of us have food, medical, and of course keeping the beards ad mustaches trimmed up
I remember you and Gustaff, Frank. We met in San Diego at a Flooring America event. It was such a pleasure to meet you both. Gustaff is indeed magnificient! And you just beam with joy showing him off – as well you should. Thank you for taking the time to comment about my story.
Thank you for sharing this beautiful story. My heart ached for you all, and I found myself transported back to our beloved Sandy’s life and passing and what he meant to our family. He, too, was a rescue. There seems to be a special bond to be had with rescued pets – they are in such need and are so grateful for the love, kindness, and a home that we can give them. May you richly enjoy your journey with your rescues!
Thank you Larryn. I agree that there is such a special bond with rescued animals. They know that they’re finally saved and so ready to do what they do best, give unconditional love and devotion. They are a gift to anyone who lets them into their heart and into their life.